Mayor Donahue Presents America!!!!

This might come in handy

Mon, 15 Oct 2012 16:32:29 -0400

Lobster John has a pocket pussy!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 12:06:08 -0400

Ok so this is Lobster John showing off his pocket pussy. And yes it is heart sharped. You cant see it but theres pubic hair all over that thing. He also said hes had it for five years and has never washed it out.

"Street Life" or One too many?

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 12:38:45 -0400

This is a bench in a back alleyway in Ybor City. It’s surrounded by dead rats and smells of urine. I slept on it about two Thursdays ago. I must say besides for the dead rats it wasn’t too bad. The urine didn’t bother me at all tho. Only because it was my. I got some video of this night that is pretty hilarious. I just gotta make sure its not too incriminating.

Excuse while I whip this out!!!

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 05:50:50 -0500

This photo was taken last Saturday in Ybor City. My friend Patrick and I were pretty wasted and were just running around the streets getting our picture taken around of whatever we thought was funny. In this picture there is a couple making while I whip my ball bag out and Patrick gives two thumbs up. ENJOY!!!! O and god bless AMERICA!!!!!!!

A interview with Lobster John!

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 03:17:38 -0500

This is my “friend” John. He has lobster hands and a missing leg. Well hes’ not 100% missing a leg but what hes’ left with looks like a giant penis. Believe it or not he was once my roommate. See, I was living in Lakeland, FL (home of meth, rednecks and rape) and I was looking to move to Tampa, FL (home of the skatepark of Tampa, blacks and rape). My friend Robert aka “Robert X Rules” had hit me up and said that there was a room open in the house he was living in and that it was only $425 a month with Internet, electric,water and a washer and dryer included. It sounded like a deal of a life time! So I got in the car and drove to Tampa to check it out. It wasn’t in the greatest neighborhood but it was a decent house and it was only ten minutes away from Ybor City which is my favorite place in the world so I had to take it. I had also met John that day but it was only for a few seconds. Soooooo I really didn’t have the chance to NOTICE all of John’s shall we say ” Character”. I mean I notice he had a missing leg because he had crutches and when I walked in the house Franky(Robert’s Dog) was running around and had ran right between one of John’s crutches and where John’s leg would of been. And I had kinda notice one of his hands because when I shook it I notice there was something missing. But I didn’t really think anything of it. I just assumed he was in the war or something. But we all know whats happens when we assume!

So a few days later I started moving all my stuff into the house and thats when I notice something I’ve never seen before in my in my life. LOBSTER HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It totally took me by surprise. The first thing I thought was ” What kind of bomb does this to your hands?????? John wasn’t a American Hero who got his shit blown off! He was just some dude from Lake Whales who likes to watch Hannah Montana. Robert came home from work that day and right away I was like “Dude! why didn’t you tell me about John’s fucking lobster hands?” And all he could say was ” O yeah I forgot!. Anyways hears a interview I did with John for the blog. ENJOY!

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I kinda wish my brother was a loser such as myself. Only because...

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 03:12:17 -0500

I kinda wish my brother was a loser such as myself. Only because I would love to show this picture of him without blacking his eyes. His eyes are super red in this picture. I believe it’s from the weed and the severe beating my parents gave him.

Unlike my brother I found the whole situation to be some what...

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 03:12:07 -0500

Unlike my brother I found the whole situation to be some what hilarious! To be honest I found the whole thing to just be crazy. Who takes pictures of their crying/stoned son holding drugs? So I couldn’t help but to laugh while it was my turn to get my picture taken.

"Drugs are bad, ummkay!"

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 03:12:00 -0500

So like most of you know by now I grew up in a pretty average American familly . So of course my parents “weren’t down” with their kids experimenting with drugs. In fact “drugs are bad, umkay”

I believe it was the year 1999. South Park was the shit and I was in the 8th or 9th grade. It was the year I started experimenting with other drugs besides pot. Not anything like crack or herion, just some LSD and xanex. It was also the year I had ran away from home with a friend of mine. We had plain to travel to California to start a band. My favorite musical acts back then were Screeching Weasels and the Wu-Tang Clan. So we were either gonna start a punk band or a hip-hop group. Or some kind of shitty rap metal band.(Later on in my late teens I did end up being a D.J. in a rap metal band, so some of my dreams did come true! Sadly) We made it about ten miles away from our homes and had spent most of the night breaking into houses and cars and stealing money or whatever we thought was cool. After a few hours of pillaging we scored a bag of weed with some money and a watch we had stolen from one of the houses we robbed and headed to a friend’s house to sleep in his shed. My friend didn’t want us to sleep in his shed because he was afraid we would steal something so we ended up having to sleep behind it.That night behind the shed before passing out I remember thinking ” Man, this is gonna be awesome! I can’t wait to make it to California!

The next morning I was awoken by my father pulling me out of behind the shed and beating the shit out of me as my mother was yelling ” You deserve it you ungrateful piece of shit!”(I guess my friend’s mom I had heard us talking behind the shed and called my parents.) During my ass beating by my father my mother had called the cops. The cops came, arrested us for truancy and took us to the Juvenile Detention Center. We were arrested by a black guy and I remember my friend telling the cop ” Don’t you think it’s a little fucked up of you being a cop after what they did to Rodney King?” O we had a laugh after that one!

I spent a day at the Detention center and after my release my father took me and my Brother to get drug tested at this center for Juvenile drug abuse. If you failed the pissed test you would be entered to a week long drug rehab program. On the way to the center I remember my brother giving me dirty looks and whispering “Im gonna fucking kill you you fucking faggot!” While waiting on the results of the drug tests I remember praying that my brother’s test wouldn’t come back positive for any drugs.I didn’t want to get my ass kicked and I already I knew I was gonna fail and was kinda looking foward to the program. Not because I thought I had a problem and needed help. I saw a cute girl who looked about my age who was being entered into the program when we had first got there. Even at the age of 13 I knew that girls who drink and do drugs also like to fuck!

The test came back in about 15 minutes and for some crazy reason my test came back negative. I couldn’t freaking believe it! I had been smoking pot none stop for a couple months and had dropped some acid about a week earlier. Plus I had popped a few xanex during the two days we had attempted to run away.(Even to this day I still haven’t fail a drug test.) My brother on the other hand wasn’t so lucky. He failed for marijuana. I will never forget the look my brother gave me as they were taking him away. I knew when he got out he was gonna beat the shit out of me. On the way home father said that he didn’t know how I past the test and that he didn’t care. He was gonna beat my ass anyway. I didn’t care that I was gonna get the shit kicked outta me. I just felt like the biggest piece of shit for getting my brother in trouble all because I wanted to run away and start a band.

A week later my brother was release from the program. During that week I had recived more beatings from my father than I have ever had before. To be honest I felt like I deserved all of them. Not because I had ran away but because I had gotten my brother sent away to the clink. I remember going with my father to pick up my brother. I was completely scared shitless of my brother walking out of that rehab center and just being the shit out of me. But he didn’t! He didn’t even look at me. The drive home was one of the most awkward car rides I’ve ever had in my life. And trust me when I say I’ve had some pretty seriously awkward car rides in my life. When we finally got home my parents told me to go to my room while they had a talk with my brother. I went to my room, turned on tony hawk pro skater and about a half hour later my brother came in, look me staight in the eyes and slugged me squad in the eye! As my brother had me up against the wall choking me he said ” Listen, I’ll never forgive you for getting sent to that rehab center! It was the worst week of my life!(punch) I watched a fucking kid eat a fucking moldy orange peel to try to get high!(punch) I was surrounded by fucking junkies! Don’t ever think you and me are cool! Now I got a bag of weed left and I’m not gonna let it go to waste. Don’t you say shit to mom and dad! I already knew about the pot, I had been smoking off it the whole time he was locked up.

As I watched my brother roll up a joint with toilet paper and tape it together(at the age of 14 he didn’t really know how to roll up a J yet) I thought to myself ” WOW! They didn’t teach him shit in that rehab center.” Our room was once the garage so there was a door that lend to our backyard. My brother told me to warn him if I heard our parents coming. So about 2 minutes later my mom opened my door and ask where my brother was. I told her he was in the bathroom but it was completely useless for me to lie to her. The smell of bruning smell of pot, tape and toilet paper totally gave aware my brothers where abouts. My mother screamed for my father and then she busted through the back door and grabbed my brother and started to beat him like he owned her money. Then my father grabbed me and started beating my ass for some reason. I don’t think he liked me too much back then. As my mom was hitting my brother she screamed ” Do you have any clue how stupid you look right now? Huh? Do you have any clue how stupid drugs make you look? Well I’ll show you!!! My mom went and grabbed the polaroid camrea and took pictures of my brother and I.

Well the other day I was going through some boxes I had found some of those pictures. They’re still has funny and damaging as the day they were taken. My brother nowadays has done pretty good for himself. he has a pretty good career going and a family. I didn’t want to incriminate him with these photos so I blacked his eyes out and drew some devil horns on him. Enjoy!

A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

Tue, 09 Aug 2011 20:17:17 -0400

Growing up as a kid my father was a firefighter and my mother thought it would be cute if we had Dalmatians. Their names were Patty Patch, Chance, Blaze and Sprinkles. Let me tell you now that if you thought about getting one well don’t! They’re the worlds stupidest dogs. They would always get out of the yard, destory the house or eat the weirdest most random shit. You know how dogs sometimes will dig holes under fences to get out? Well we had one that was so fat she would just run straight through the fence! Like a spotted tank or something. They would also eat things like christmas lights and my mother would have to pull the lights or whatever they had ate out of the dogs’ asses like a magician pulling something outta his sleeve. My poor mother!

It was around Christmas time and I guess my mother had got tried of pulling shit outta the dogs asses and she took the dogs to the pound when we were at school. When we got home my mother and the dogs were no where to be found. We figured she must of been at the vet or something. That night my mother came home with a almost empty bottle of sangria and tears coming down her face.( I guess my mother felt bad about what she had done and stop at the grocery store, got a bottle of sangria and drunk it in the parking lot.) When she came through the door we ask what was wrong and where the dogs were? She started crying even more and said that the dogs had got hit by a car. My brothers, sister and I all started crying and ask if all four of them were dead. My mother said yes that all four of the dogs had got hit by a car. Our response was ” How big was the car?” We spent the night in my mother’s bed crying ourselves to sleep.

The next morning my father came home from his shift at fire department and saw that all of us were crying. My father asked what was wrong and where were the dogs. We all started crying even more and said that the dogs had got ran over by a car. My father asked if all of them had gotten ran over? We said “yes all four of them”. My fathers response was ” How big was the car?”

I spent that morning and most of the afternoon by the front window looking out expecting my dogs to come home at any moment. I figured atleast one of them had to survive. I remember the phone ringing and my father answering it ” Hello! Yes…… what? I’ll be there in ten minutes”. My father hung up the phone and out the door he went. Half hour later I was still looking out the window praying for my dogs to come running up. Instead my father pulled into the drive way in the family mini van. He got out and open the sliding door and as if my prays had been answered all four of the dogs ran out of the mini van. I couldn’t believe it! I got up, ran to the living room to my siblings and screamed as if I was Doctor Frankenstien ” THEY’RE ALIVE!!!!! THEY’RE ALIVE!!!!!! My brothers and sister got up and we all ran outside to our dogs. I remember after the excitment of our so called dead dogs returning home we all looked at our mother with great confusion in our eyes. My mother looked back at us with tears in her eyes and said ” IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE”. My father said ” Cut the shit Mary, tell them the truth. My mother still crying said that she just couldn’t take the crazyness of the dogs anymore that we better start taking better care of the dogs or next time she’ll ran the dogs over herself. I don’t blame my mother for it. Sometimes shit gets to ya and people do crazy shit. That was the Christmas of ‘94.

Juggalos without a cause? Or kids just having a "wicked" good time?

Sat, 30 Jul 2011 22:28:05 -0400

MANCHESTER, N.H.:

Police in Manchester arrested four people wearing face paint and “Insane Clown Posse” band T-shirts after some neighborhood children and mall security officers reported they were causing a disturbance, including firing a handgun into the air that shot blanks.

About a dozen children and an adult reported the group was chasing the children around Thursday night in an effort to scare them, said Lt. Maureen Tessier. No one was hurt.

After chasing and yelling at the group, the four started to get into a car. One of them removed what appeared to be a handgun from his waistband and fired a shot into the air before the group drove away, police said.

Police later recovered a 9 mm pistol designed to fire blanks and determined that a blank round had been shot, Tessier said.

A short time after the neighborhood disturbance was reported at 6:40 p.m., security officers at the Mall of New Hampshire called police, describing a similar group causing a disturbance in the food court area.

“They were definitely drawing the attention of all the patrons at the mall,” Tessier said. The group was asked to leave, but objected, so security guards removed them, she said. The guards reported a license plate number.

Police found the four and charged them with two counts of riot, a misdemeanor. They were identified as Adam Leard and Chelsea Leard, both 20 and from Manchester; Zachary Lyle, 17, and William Chapdelainm-Comptois, 21, both of Nashua. The Leards also were charged with being minors in possession of alcohol.

Insane Clown Posse is a hardcore rap duo that wears face paint at performances.

this is one of the coolest things ive seen in awhile. I typed in...

Thu, 28 Jul 2011 00:39:00 -0400

this is one of the coolest things ive seen in awhile. I typed in Steve Rogers in tumblr seach (for those who don’t know, Steve Rogers is Captain America and its also my alias) and this came up. Made my day. Thanks to the person who made drew this.