Ok so this is Lobster John showing off his pocket pussy. And yes it is heart sharped. You cant see it but theres pubic hair all over that thing. He also said hes had it for five years and has never washed it out.

 This is a bench in a back alleyway in Ybor City. It’s surrounded by dead rats and smells of urine. I slept on it about two Thursdays ago. I must say besides for the dead rats it wasn’t too bad. The urine didn’t bother me at all tho. Only because it was my. I got some video of this night that is pretty hilarious. I just gotta make sure its not too incriminating.

 This photo was taken last Saturday in Ybor City. My friend Patrick and I were pretty wasted and were just running around the streets getting our picture taken around of whatever we thought was funny. In this picture there is a couple making while I whip my ball bag out and Patrick gives two thumbs up. ENJOY!!!! O and god bless AMERICA!!!!!!!

 This is my “friend” John. He has lobster hands and a missing leg. Well hes’ not 100% missing a leg but what hes’ left with looks like a giant penis. Believe it or not he was once my roommate. See, I was living in Lakeland, FL (home of meth, rednecks and rape) and I was looking to move to Tampa, FL (home of the skatepark of Tampa, blacks and rape). My friend Robert aka “Robert X Rules” had hit me up and said that there was a room open in the house he was living in and that it was only $425 a month with Internet, electric,water and a washer and dryer included. It sounded like a deal of a life time! So I got in the car and drove to Tampa to check it out. It wasn’t in the greatest neighborhood but it was a decent house and it was only ten minutes away from Ybor City which is my favorite place in the world so I had to take it. I had also met John that day but it was only for a few seconds. Soooooo I really didn’t have the chance to NOTICE all of John’s shall we say ” Character”. I mean I notice he had a missing leg because he had crutches and when I walked in the house Franky(Robert’s Dog) was running around and had ran right between one of John’s crutches and where John’s leg would of been. And I had kinda notice one of his hands because when I shook it I notice there was something missing. But I didn’t really think anything of it. I just assumed he was in the war or something. But we all know whats happens when we assume!

 So a few days later I started moving all my stuff into the house and thats when I notice something I’ve never seen before in my in my life. LOBSTER HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It totally took me by surprise. The first thing I thought was ” What kind of bomb does this to your hands?????? John wasn’t a American Hero who got his shit blown off! He was just some dude from Lake Whales who likes to watch Hannah Montana. Robert came home from work that day and right away I was like “Dude! why didn’t you tell me about John’s fucking lobster hands?” And all he could say was ” O yeah I forgot!. Anyways hears a interview I did with John for the blog. ENJOY!